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The combination of financial need, dissatisfaction with my love life, sexual frustration and some age-old fantasy that was stirred up in me from God-only-knows-where was taking over. The first time I had sex with a client it was entirely unpremeditated.

A runner training for the New York Marathon, he'd come for what I thought would be a therapeutic massage. I already had a number of regular clients who were distance runners and I found them to be very reliable -- the best of my clients.

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I fretted all day and changed my outfit several times in anticipation of his arrival.

I'd used Craigslist once before to find a subletter for my Brooklyn apartment. I was a professional dater and a longtime veteran of internet dating. And I was having a lot of crappy experiences with men of dubious integrity. I had studied a variety of healing modalities and been praised by my clients as being extraordinarily gifted. But one day it came to my attention that many "providers" who should have been posting in the erotic services section were posting in the therapeutic section. But for some reason, after that, I kept looking at the erotic services section. I never would have expected it, but reading the ads had begun to turn me on.

That had worked out incredibly well, so I decided to advertise my massage business there (in the therapeutic services section). I confess that at that time, I was pretty disappointed with my love life. It had occurred to me more than once that I might as well be getting paid. I just want to pause here (in part because I can already hear the voices of my detractors and also because I don't want to appear insensitive to any human suffering).

Maybe I had been thinking about it too much, maybe I had actually already unconsciously resolved that I would do it, but the next thing I knew, I was on the table, naked and he was massaging me.

When it was time for him to leave, he asked me how much he owed me. I knew that I had given him extra, a lot extra (although we didn't have intercourse) and I wanted extra. "Well, I usually charge , but you can tip me whatever you want." He gave me 0 and at that moment, I realized I had gone down a path I would never be able to retrace. I would move on from there to greater and greener pastures.

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