Frequency of communication in dating

The setting also affects how we initiate conversations, as we communicate differently at a crowded bar than we do on an airplane.

Even with all this variation, people typically follow typical social scripts for interaction at this stage.

We reach the achievement of relating through the everyday conversations and otherwise trivial interactions that form the fabric of our relationships.

You can see how various relationships fall into each of these dimensions in Figure 7.1 "Types of Relationships".

This incremental intensification of intimacy can occur over a period of weeks, months, or years and may involve inviting a new friend to join you at a party, then to your place for dinner, then to go on vacation with you.

It would be seen as odd, even if the experimenting stage went well, to invite a person who you’re still getting to know on vacation with you without engaging in some less intimate interaction beforehand.

Small talk serves important functions, such as creating a communicative entry point that can lead people to uncover topics of conversation that go beyond the surface level, helping us audition someone to see if we’d like to talk to them further, and generally creating a sense of ease and community with others.

And even though small talk isn’t viewed as very substantive, the authors of this model of relationships indicate that most of our relationships do not progress far beyond this point., we indicate that we would like or are open to more intimacy, and then we wait for a signal of acceptance before we attempt more intimacy.

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