If someone checks their watch while you are talking with them, that is invalidating.
Showing up at an important event but only paying attention to email or playing a game on the phone while there is invalidating, whether that is the message the person meant to send or not.
Nonverbal self-invalidation is working too much, shopping too much or otherwise not paying attention to your own feelings, thoughts, needs and wants. It’s about accepting someone else’s internal experience as valid and understandable.
When people invalidate themselves, they create alienation from the self and make building their identity very challenging.
Saying “No problem, of course I can do that,” when you are overwhelmed, is hoovering.
Judging: “You are so overreacting,” and “That is a ridiculous thought,” are examples of invalidation by judging.
But well-intentioned people may be uncomfortable with intense emotions or believe that they are helping when they are actually invalidating. The truth is that validation is not self-acceptance, it is only an acknowledgement that an internal experience occurred.
In terms of self-invalidation, many emotionally sensitive people would agree they invalidate themselves, but would argue that they deserve it. Verbal Invalidation There are many different reasons and ways that people who care about you invalidate you. Misinterpreting What It Means to Be Close: Sometimes people think that knowing just how someone else feels without having to ask means they are emotionally close to that person.