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They didn't have anywhere to go until the '80s, when clubs like Hellfire, the Vault and Paddles opened in New York (of those, Paddles is the only one still standing).

While the spanking network Shadow Lane launched in California in 1986, a woman named Margaret Davis (sometimes known as Ms.

And it takes our group's comparatively handsome would-be spanker about 20 seconds to diagnose us, correctly, with this malady. Then I realize I don't know if "vanilla" in this context is a noun or an adjective (is it "I'm not a vanilla" or "I'm not vanilla"?

), which causes me to abandon my pathetic attempt to fit in.

When you're at one of Strictly Spanking New York's bimonthly parties, something like this is merely observational.

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"It's like if a woman who had a rape fantasy suddenly had a guy going, ' Are you OK? Sex ruins the fantasy, and if it's not 100 percent not sexual, it feels like incest." (At the same time, Jules admits that she fantasizes about being spanked when she masturbates and that she's gotten wet while being spanked.) Still, people do not, for the most part, have sex at the parties, nor do they tend to pair off and have sex afterward. Time and time again, the spankos I interview tell me they were fascinated with spanking from a young age and thought they were alone with this obsession.They cite movies and TV shows with spanking scenes that captivated them as children (a 1963 John Wayne movie called "Mc Lintock!," Elvis' "Blue Hawaii," "Bonanza" and "The Little Rascals" seem to have been quite popular) and mention how they would look up the word "spanking" in the dictionary just to get the temporary thrill that would come from simply seeing the definition written out."I asked her to direct one of my plays and she did an amazing job," Jessica had told me."It was about a boss and secretary and she really pulled out the power dynamic." Let's just say that Jessica knew how to pick directors, since 36-year-old Jules is something of an expert on power play: Not only has she been throwing these over the knee (OTK) spanking parties for the past three years but she's also been in a daddy-daughter relationship for the past two.

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