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"If you don't have a good relationship with your child, they're not going to listen to you. If you have a good relationship with them, you tend to trust them more, listen to their opinions, and agree with them. "This is one of the most important principles," Steinberg tells Web MD. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. The problem needs to be diagnosed by a professional." 5. "If you don't manage your child's behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren't around. The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself." "But you can't micromanage your child," Steinberg tells Web MD.

If it's someone we just don't like, we will ignore their opinion." Steinberg's 10 principles hold true for anyone who deals with children -- coach, teacher, babysitter, he says. Be there mentally as well as physically." Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or reading it over or correcting it. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior. It could be he simply needs some help in structuring time to allow time for studying. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? "Once they're in middle school, you need let the child do their own homework, make their own choices, and not intervene." 6. "Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control.

In his new book, The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting, Laurence Steinberg, Ph D, provides guidelines based on the top social science research -- some 75 years of studies.

Follow them, and you can avert all sorts of child behavior problems, he says. Or to help the child develop into a decent, self-confident human being?

That child needs to learn to give other children a chance to answer questions." 10. "The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully," Steinberg writes.

"You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else.

"They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others." "There is a lot of evidence that spanking causes aggression in children, which can lead to relationship problems with other kids," Steinberg tells Web MD.

What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old."If your young child is headed into danger, into traffic, you can grab him and hold him, but you should under no circumstances hit him." Ruby Natale Ph D, Psy D, professor of clinical pediatrics at the University of Miami Medical School, couldn't agree more. "Many people use the same tactics their own parents used, and a lot of times that meant using really harsh discipline," she tells Web MD. Ask yourself, 'What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result? "What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love.A parent's relationship with his or her child will be reflected in the child's actions -- including child behavior problems, Natale explains. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions." 3. "Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities.After all, what is the goal when you're dealing with children? Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness, says Steinberg.It also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve.

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