Personality conflict dating relationships

Most people assume that there must be something wrong with men who stay in relationships with women who have traits of borderline personality disorder, men who know the right move is to leave but who find themselves unable to let go.In Part 2 of this blog series you are going to learn that there are very specific reasons why women with traits of borderline personality disorder seem to attract a certain type of man and why these men so often can’t let go of these troubled relationships.When we don’t, our relationship partners experience our selfish actions as a mild form of betrayal of our relationship agreement.These minor betrayals over agreements to make each other feel safe in the relationship and to keep things fair for both people are at the heart of most of our everyday arguments.Just like there is a profile for the borderline personality type, there is also a profile for the kind of man that they often choose to partner with.The type of personality that so often gets caught up in a relationship with a woman with traits of BPD is what we might call a “nice guy” type.Although the nice-guy/borderline union in theory should work, in reality it is guaranteed to fail. Either the nice-guy type will finally have a momentary lapse of selfishness, which she will experience as a major betrayal, or she will become so overwhelmed by her suspicious nature that that she will convince herself that he has betrayed her.Either way, without an ironclad guarantee that she cannot be hurt, she will be unwilling to trust him again.

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Humans are naturally a little bit selfish, and we fade in and out of this slightly narcissistic mode as we go through life.The reason we call them nice guys is based on their ability to act nice even when they aren’t feeling at their best.These men tend to care so deeply about their connections that they do not need to struggle in the way the average person does to keep others’ needs in mind.Because of this tendency, our relationships pose a difficult challenge for us.When we enter a relationship, we are expected to be able to give up our self-centered ways and treat our partner’s interests as equally important as our own.

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